{"id":1724,"date":"2013-06-09T15:00:53","date_gmt":"2013-06-09T19:00:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/johnestes.org\/?p=1724"},"modified":"2013-06-09T15:00:53","modified_gmt":"2013-06-09T19:00:53","slug":"some-onion-on-writing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/johnestes.net\/?p=1724","title":{"rendered":"Some Onion on Writing"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>George R.R. Martin <a href=\"http:\/\/www.theonion.com\/articles\/oh-shit-i-totally-forgot-that-happens,32673\/\">forgot about the Red Wedding<\/a>:<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<blockquote>\n<p>The whole time it was happening, I was literally just staring at my television in shock thinking, \u201cSon of a bitch, I forgot about that! Three of the story\u2019s main characters are murdered in the most savage and horrific fashion imaginable!\u201d My wife and I were sitting on the couch and we both just turned and looked at each other, like, \u201cWhoa. That was intense.\u201d I mean, I vaguely remember writing something like that, but that was years ago, you know? You forget these things.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<ul>\n<li>Joyce Carol Oates <a href=\"http:\/\/www.theonion.com\/articles\/if-you-wish-to-be-a-writer-have-sex-with-someone-w,32687\/\">reveals the secret to publishing success<\/a>:<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<blockquote>\n<p>Take all the classes you want, attend every writers\u2019 conference\u2014these can be great investments in your career, but only if you\u2019re making the most of them by meeting, exchanging contact information with, and ultimately seducing people who work in the book industry. Success in writing takes serious commitment and a willingness to devote thousands of hours to the craft of having sex with key publishing professionals.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<ul>\n<li>Obama speech writers struggling <a href=\"http:\/\/www.theonion.com\/articles\/obama-speechwriters-unsure-how-theyd-praise-fort-l,32364\/\">to prepare for post-disaster speech about Ft. Lauderdale<\/a>:<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<blockquote>\n<p>According to Keenan, were Ft. Lauderdale to suffer a mass shooting, terrorist attack, or other unexpected tragedy, he and his team of writers would be hard-pressed to channel the city\u2019s sandy beaches, wide streets, and abundance of strip malls into a resounding testament to the triumph of the human spirit.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<ul>\n<li>Jessica Simpson <a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=piiqhBOwvrU&amp;feature=youtu.be\">goes on book tour to promote the book she read<\/a>:<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<div class=\"video-container\">\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" src=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/piiqhBOwvrU?rel=0\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n<\/div>\n<p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>George R.R. Martin forgot about the Red Wedding: The whole time it was happening, I was literally just staring at my television in shock thinking, \u201cSon of a bitch, I forgot about that! Three of the story\u2019s main characters are murdered in the most savage and horrific fashion imaginable!\u201d My wife and I were sitting on the couch and we &#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","wps_subtitle":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/johnestes.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1724"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/johnestes.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/johnestes.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/johnestes.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/johnestes.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1724"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/johnestes.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1724\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/johnestes.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1724"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/johnestes.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1724"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/johnestes.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1724"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}